We are different, literally, so get over it!
As much as I believe in things that are near and dear to me, I must equally respect the views and beliefs of others as I do my own. Even though we might believe that we are right and others are wrong… that is a matter of opinion. Each of us is entitled to have mutually strong opinions. People tend to be as passionate about their side of the equation as you are. Just recently I was having a political conversation with a person that I admire. This was not a close friend but a person that seemed nice, friendly, loving, caring, and a lot of other great qualities you like seeing in people.
We were having a conversation about global warming when I detected that we had sharp differences with this particular subject. She does not believe that global warming is an existential problem. She thinks it is something that is being fabricated as fake news. Right away we could see where this was headed so we abruptly ended the conversation and continued our walk in opposite directions. It appears that we have mutual respect for one another so we politely decided to disagree without saying it out loud. As we interact with other people in life our differences could cause us to pause. How we deal with each other in spite of them is what determines our true character. If love is in you, you will do so lovingly, if it is not, you will do otherwise.
For the sake of this essay, I will not take a stand on who might be right or wrong but instead upon how and why we believe, and in what we believe. Most of us have been indoctrinated by a variety of factors that shaped our views and gave us the genesis of our belief systems. Even though we tend to modify our beliefs once we mature, some never venture far from what they were taught during their formative years. Not all people have an inquisitive mind so they might feel more comfortable holding on to what they have taught rather than learning something new. Old habits die hard even if they are bad ones. Most would rather keep what is familiar for no other reason other than it has become habitual. This could apply to a lot of things we continue to believe.
Some people do their own research in order to determine the facts of life either by reading or through life experiences. Once they learn the truth then they can make the necessary adjustments rather than continue to live a lie. Some of what we were taught might have been stuff our guardians told us because they had no good answer to a very complicated subject. It could have been a question regarding something that was too sensitive for young minds to understand. The topic of sex would be a classic example of this or the naming sexual body parts for a child. After a person matures in life many of these old tales are replaced by the facts of life.
There are people whose beliefs are based solely upon what “they say” without knowing who the so-called “they” are or where the information came from. Old wives’ tales, myths, innuendo, or grandma’s idioms fall into this category. None of this is usually based upon facts or truths, but while a child is in the process of developing their belief system, things such as this become determining factors until corrected by facts, which could come much later in life than one would hope. The bottom line is people would rather hold on to their beliefs for whatever reasons they determine. It could be merely for the sake of convenience. Without judging them perhaps we should respect their personal choices.
The subject matter is equally as divisive when it comes to one’s religious belief. Some of your friends might believe differently than you. Some may worship other gods or use other methods from you. Some may not worship at all. Many believe passionately in their views just as we believe in ours. Who are we to determine whether or not they have the right to believe as they do or to judge them because they believe differently. In the end, everyone will have to answer to whatever God they claim to worship so what is gained by causing dissension over our need to be right. Even if someone chose to be an Atheist that is a personal choice: It is not our task, our job, or even our right to judge them. Though we strongly believe in what we believe, our place is not to become judge and jury over matters just because they seem morally or intellectually unsound to us. Perhaps we seem the same way to them in reverse?
The adjudication is made from a much higher authority than either of us. This would be certainly true for any Godly believer, but even non-believers have free will choice to totally refuse to believe if they chose. Even though the temptation is there to prove our point of view or offer what we believe to be sound advice… causing further division usually does not bring people together. Just as my fellow morning walker and I decided to disagree politely, in doing so we continue to remain cordial with each other and perhaps a day will come when our mutual respect will open an opportunity to grow to be friends. On the very next day after this incident, I decided that I preferred to still love, admire and respect this person for the qualities she exudes and not allow our differences of opinion to destroy the mountain of good that was prevalent.
You don’t have to agree with others as the basis of loving them. If that were the case most marriages would fail, even more, than the current statistics reveal. Brothers and sisters disagree sharply about many issues yet they still genuinely love each other. Parents certainly do not agree with many of the practices of their children but that does not keep them from loving their child. Whether someone is gay or straight should not keep them from genuinely loving one another. We tend to allow our differences to become the main course rather than just a side dish. Accepting our differences respectfully allows us to appreciate other qualities we might otherwise overlook because we closed the door based on their differences. Where there is mutual respect amongst people we should allow others to be as passionate about what they believe as we are about what we believe.
It is difficult to remain neutral about things in life when our primary foundations were built upon certain principals, morals, ethics, or other fundamental values. Many of them might slightly or grossly differ from others you know. Where does that take you? Either love one another in spite of the differences or agree to disagree with each other. One could decide to part ways hoping never to be in each other’s presence again. Oh, there is another alternative… we could go to war and fight over what we claim to be our version of the truth. The option of war never should be one of our options over trivial matters.
Many decide to part ways separating themselves from those that they disagree with. If that was the most popular option it would lead to a cold, tense segregated society with only a thin veneer dividing sides from chaos. A tiny spark in the national news could break down such a thin firewall where civil unrest could erupt at any moment. This would be mainly because people were too stuck on their selfish values that they could not allow others to have views that were different. Does being right in your mind mean that much to you? Do you really desire to see others lose so you can win? Does winning mean so much to you that you want to really stick others in the gut? True love will have nothing to do with such!
This does not mean that we need to fraternize with shady characters that practice immoral or illegal acts. It doesn’t even mean we are to like or even fraternize with shady characters. There are cases where absence is the best of valor. But in case there is an opportunity to win over someone stuck in darkness it might be best to leave the lights on rather than totally shut down the opportunity. Even God does not call upon His children to be stupid, but wise in all ways. Wisdom will assist you in making the proper decisions regarding where an opportunity might be fertile or where it is not. We are not stupid just because we are different.
In the end, we really are quite different. There are so many factors that caused us to differ from one another but, variety is the spice of life. How we deal with our differences is what defines the true character of a person. Love is the defining substance that governs. If love is in you it will compel you to do what is right and decent. Agreeing to disagree politely might be the best alternative leaving an open window for a positive future encounter. When God softens the heart you would be surprised at who you might become in the future. When I look back on who I was back in the days compared to who I am now, I am so, so different that the two persons would not be related. Folks, we are different, literally, get over it and learn to love one another in spite of being different. Selah!
